Falling in Love is Easy…It’s Living It That’s Hard

The leaves have been spectacular again this year. The vibrant colors explode like July fireworks and linger so you can enjoy them for a few days, not just seconds.  But I love the fall for another reason.

fall squash

It’s when I married my sweetheart.

He was an awesome young man.

  • Intelligent.
  • The leader of our youth group.
  • A heart for God.
  • Funny.

He Was So Easy to Fall in Love With!

Wayne and I had been sweethearts for three years when he asked me to marry him. He was on his way to Vietnam and I said a resounding yes. He wrote me everyday while he was there, even though he worked 12 to 14 hour shifts everyday. We set our wedding date for December 3.

One morning, at the end of September I got a call explaining that Wayne had gotten a rollback and he was on his way home from Vietnam. I rode with Wayne’s parents to meet him at the airport. We don’t have beautiful fall leaves in Alabama, but it was a beautiful fall day when I met my sweetheart at that airport. “Thank you, God, for keeping him safe. Thank you for bringing him home.”

Wayne, slid onto the seat beside me, while he’s parents were climbing in the front, I whispered. “We can be married in two weeks.” And we were.

We loaded a small U-haul trailer with stereo speakers, a desk and lots of dishes. (Oh, how I love dishes. Always have.) Wayne moved this young, never been away from home, southern belle, all the way to Minot, North Dakota. I called it the Trail of Tears.

Falling in love was easy…but walking out that love isn’t always easy.

I was far from home. I was lonely. We had been apart for three years, because he was in the Air Force during that time. We had to get to know each other all over again. We worked through our challenges. We both matured.

We each had to learn… how to listen. how to love the other the way they needed to be loved.

And then express it that way.

  • how to forgive. when to be quiet. (Don’t laugh. I can be quiet. But it’s not easy!)
  • when to encourage…yes there is a difference between encouraging and nagging. But it’s a fine line between the two.
  • which faults to point out and which faults to pray over. Or should I say after praying over a fault I see, whether it should be mentioned or just prayed over.
  • how to keep Christ the center of our home. And we did learn.

He learned I don’t like to waste money on flowers from the florist, but I love single roses (or any kind of flower cut from the yard-Azaleas, Camellias or Gardenias) and love notes.

I learned he loves to be bragged on and he doesn’t get bored even if my list of compliments is LONG. (He loves it when I brag on him!)

I learned I need to tell him when I just need to vent, so he doesn’t try to fix me.

falling in love is easy. it's walking it out that creates the challenge

I learned he needs me to be quiet sometimes. (I know I already said it once!)

We’ve learned the joy of working together.

  • That means only one of us can be in charge. When he’s in charge I do what he says. When I’m in charge he does what I say! Yeah! Double yeah! I love to be in charge, but so does he. So we both have learned to be as good at following as we are leading.
  •  The follower is given the right to offer advice and be listened to and valued for what they offer.
  • We learned to communicate. Communicate. Communicate. (And we continue to work, really work on this one. Just because you think you can finish their sentence…DON’T! It’s insulting.)
  • We learned that the feeling of exhilaration that comes from accomplishing tasks is multiplied when done together.

As I count my blessings this November, Father, thank you for my sweet Wayne. Thank you for giving me a good man, that continues to love me, encourage me and now cooks for me and with me!

What a joy he is in my life. It’s hard to imagine how I could be so blessed to have this extraordinary man in my life.

Thank you God. I’m humbled at your great gift to me. Thank you, God! Thank you!

4 thoughts on “Falling in Love is Easy…It’s Living It That’s Hard

  1. Gail Holland says:

    I enjoyed reading your article so much! I know you two and I know what you said is all true! 🙂 You are a wonderful couple and such an example to follow. Leading must run on the Holland side!!!!
    I need to take some of your advice. Thanks for sharing! A wonderful lesson in how a marriage should be. Love, Gail

  2. Pat Holland says:

    Thank you so much, Gail. That is so sweet of you. Your words mean so much because you do know us so well. You and Ed are perfect for each other. What a compliment and complement you are for him.

    Absolutely, all four of those Holland kids are great leaders. It is definitely there strength. And they have developed and polished that strength.

    Love you girl!

  3. Carolyn Abood says:

    You are both so special to us. You are blessed to have a loving relationship you can share with others. Happy Anniversary!!

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